Controversy Collector Pillows

"I've hated Tom Brady forever, but I'll always be grateful to him for giving us something else to talk about."

'I still think Ann Coulter is right.'

The Daily Fury

Old Faithful

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Early cyborg.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Ice shelfie.

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Inflating Boobs.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

It's great for pulling the birds!

"Things are looking up!"