Contradiction Collectors Pillows

'National Association of Ethicists meets here, 7 P.M.: Please watch your purse and wallet.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I hate it when we fight."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

The Daily Fury

"No aliens"

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

Gym/Tan/Donut

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

Oxymorons

A monk watches TV in his zen garden.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"

'I think I'm cured. I now forgive my parents, love my wife, adore my children and hate you.'

'I want a 'green' car colored red that keeps me in the black.'

Free Contradictions only $2.00.

"You see, there's proof I'm in the majority. I don't believe in polls and neither do 59% of other guys."

"Now remember, you guys, this news must not get out - we don't want to start a global panic."

Clancy: Good Idea

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

David Petraeus

Cowboys in a saloon gather around a Georgia O'Keefe painting.

Man ignores the 'Science' section and looks in the 'Stuff You Believe Anyway' section."

Nun reading book titled 'How to be good in bed.'