Controversy Collectors Gifts

David Petraeus

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Toadstools

Piranhaclaus

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Nerdy man wagging his finger.

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

The water desk

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

Hello City Pound? Please take my dog away.

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

'Too dressy?'

Crystal Ball Plug

The Daily Fury

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Lawrence never goes anywhere without his ecosystem."

'You caught it! You clean it!'

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."