Contrasting Combo Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Listen, I like you, Chet, but I prefer to move a little slower.'

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

Blend Schools

'The penguin is upset...'

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

The Formal Street Artist

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

Geography. And there's another continent, Antartica, on the very bottom. How cool is that?!

'You did it! You changed my lovely witches broom into a hybrid!!'

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

Slim's Baroque-Bach Saloon. I know you love classical music, Slim, but

Hair loss comb.

'I guess you're right again; wine and eggs do go together.'

"Try taking up something you can do together… like fencing."

New driving hazards perception test....'I've crashed the computer.'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

"Can I overwhelm you with a menu?"

New Milks

Prisoner keeping a calendar on his laptop.

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"

Apples and oranges

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

'Was that a red light? You should know that it is highly unethical to take liberties just because the instructor is drunk...'

Ok, ok, if that's what you need to meet your daily goal, we can do 21 paces instead.

"... and make sure your head is on the fan. That's the best place for a nap."

Ficken or Chish?

'Howitzers at dawn.'

"It's a pluot—an apricot that self-identifies as a plum."

No decision is a great choice sometimes.

Ant and Dec.

A practical fortune teller.

Insensitive Driving School

'Toupee !!'