Contractual Clowning Gifts

'Please sign this.. it absolves me from any future litigation.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Clown on bike.

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

Get crazy once in a while

Shake it all about sign on desk

How are you at decision making?

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

Brainstorm in progress.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Scapegoat of the Year

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'