Contracting Chaos Explorer Gifts

'Oh no, a few more change orders from Mrs. Fergenson, right?'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Let's run it through legal.'

The Best Laid Plans

How to Build a Bungalow

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

The Black Hole of Plans

Chaos Hieronymus Bosch style

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Employee help

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

'Well, the new contract appears to be a win-win, just not for physicians.'

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

"I'm getting out of the dog walking business! Last night I chased a cat up a tree!"

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

Realistic terms of agreement options. . .

'Hey, I don't agree with the new clauses in this new symbiosis contract...'

Strike That Clause

'I see it as an adventure Joe...and the best adventures are the ones that challenge you...Ah...and this would explain your collection of hazmat suits.'

'Everything is pro bono after the first 100 grand.'

"It's unconditional love Thursday through Sunday ONLY. It's in the prenup!"