Contract Workers Gifts

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Pipe Dream.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"As I understand it, after this scaffolding comes down the city will be done."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'I found the termites!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

God's Subcontractors

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'