Contraband Comic Lover T-Shirts

"No cannabis up 'ere Sarge - just courgettes and lettuce."

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."