Continental Cuisine Connoisseur Gifts

Cafe Philosophique

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Quick swig first?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

Slow food restaurant

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Culture clash