Contest Junkie Pillows

"My wife enters every competition going."

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Political convention

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

Netanyahu versus Gantz

Rock and a Hard Place

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

The end of election 2016

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

'Rhea of the Year.'

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

The Harper Government

John Kerry making a speak: 'What'd he say?'

Romney clearly knows more about foreign policy than Palin. . .

'Flying pig in glass case. Sign reads: Break glass in the event of Tory victory.'

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

Long after losing the election, Fred Gort continued to campaign, thus making a mockery of those reporters who had labelled him "the-I-don't-care candidate."

'I think they're still just sizing each other up.'

"And now the award for..."

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

'The toughest things to deal with are a new, charismatic opponent and a former colleague's memoirs.'

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'