Contest Creator Pillows

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

We're stuck here for the entire summer. It's loserville! Let's start "the most boring town" contest. I bet there's one already on the web. Darn! Here's a "top ten tedious towns" list. We're not on it. West Fester is so boring, it's not even the most boring.

The Map of the human brain

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

High Five

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

'Rhea of the Year.'

Elf of the Month

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

Creative Director skipping through an advertising portfolio.

"That's out idea department – the door was one of their ideas."

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

'I've invented copyright.'

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

How to make a concept album

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

Your big moment on Altra Gameshow

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

Donut Eating Contest

'You are the unwisest man...goodbye.'

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'