Contentment Questioner T-Shirts

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

A new study found that people with low expectations are more content.

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

"I'm thinking about working on something really big, but for now I'm just happy keeping my plants alive."

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

"No, I'm not married. But that's beside the point. Now, quit changing the subject and answer the question."

'Through dieting I lost some weight ... I also lost my reason for living!'

Door to door salesman sees sign: 'We have everything.'

"I really like you, Grizzo, but I'm not ready to hibernate."

'That's right, a person with 9 million is no happier than one with 8 million.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations, became savvy consumers, the lived reasonably contented forever after'

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether or not money can buy happiness."