Content Spectator Gifts

"I shop, therefore I am."

Time Machine Collision

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

"For my next trick, I'll need a non-litigious volunteer."

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"

"Newsdesk? I've got a celebrity story for you ..."

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Exploding Dalmatian

"And we'll come back to the tally room as soon as we can find another defeated politician choking back tears of self-pity!"

"Get in the box! I don't want to get in the box! Get in the box! Ha ha ha ha ha ..."

'Yes, it does make his blood boil - I enjoy it'

Spot the face-lift.

Sitting Room, Standing Room Only.

"Don't Look At it! It's A Listicle!"

'This guy figures to be on his bicycle all night.'

US Government Shutdown

Milk carton - 'Have you seen me? I'm the man you thought you elected to office'.

Obama and the cliff.

'Yeah yeah... we know they play in pain. I Live in pain.'

"The weather looks a little iffy."