Content Craftsman Pillows

"All this mold is a good sign that our marketing content is getting a little stale."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Lynching on social media

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Counting ribs

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

I quilt therefore I am

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

This Message Has No Content

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

TV-Man

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Lovely dovetail."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."