Contemporary Living T-Shirts

"This has always been Kathy's and my dream --- to live in a contemporary house, surrounded by our contemporaries."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

i-teddy

Fur Baby

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."