Contagion Avoider Gifts

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about Lyme disease."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Crowded Ice Fishing

Frontline health workers

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Zika global alert

"Shouldn't you be studying?

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Chasing Covid Variants

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

Ward Cleaning.

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

Danger Signs.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"Gah! Too many people!"

"Have you considered an ounce of prevention?"

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

A drawing illustrating 'bare-below-elbow' policy.

"Your test results are back."

'Never read it,mate-too much doom and gloom in it!'

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Mountaineer finds a computer at the top of the mountain.

Medical Heroes

'Don't bother to sit down - we're leaving early to avoid the crowd.'