Contactless Comics Pillows

"Trick or Treat! Due to Covid-19 we now accept contactless payments..."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

The Official Covid-19 Diet

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

How's my driving?

"Why take chances? I say, I'm self-isolating, and will be drinking from home for a couple of weeks."

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"You've been out roaming again?"

"Boring being all cooped up isn't it. Let's see how you bloody like it!"

"Can you hear me now?"

If a tree falls in the forest, and a mime hears it, does it make a sound?

"Today, the value of the Chinese Yuan dropped in relation to the chopstick, the egg roll and the fortune cookie."

"Melting clocks are too boring, these days I just paint real life."

My Covid passport

"To be honest it's not really driverless, I'm just scared I might catch something off the steering wheel."

Calculator Jokes

Pet Vaccinations Today.

"What makes you think you have cabin fever?"

"What does 'post-Christmas' mean?"

Why the long face?

"Hey, look what's comin' down the street!!!"

"So what did you do during the lockdown?"

Meeting view zone. Non-meeting zone.

"Guess we don't need to write 'Sorry we missed you...' slips anymore."

"Not to seem ungrateful, Audrey, but I'll be happier when we can go on a real holiday again."

Isolation playlist