Consumer Experiences Prints

Man can't open the plastic packaging of his plastic cutter.

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

"We are sorry for the delay in answering your call but we are dealing with far more interesting ones at the moment."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'No luggage.'

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

Awkward customers.

'Hello, Room Service?'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"Now, I wonder whether you'd be kind enough to complete our customer feedback survey?"

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

'Just follow my voice to the checkout stand.'

Please continue to hold, but feel free to switch hands.

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

"Your call is important to us."

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."

"May I focus my customer frustration on you with the understanding you're powerless and it's nothing personal?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our product?"

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

'I said she might like it.'

'Our poll shows the typical advertising viewer is all 'targeted' out.'

"He's about my height but he doesn't have my build."

Friendly bank/Formal bank.

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

Woman is target