Consumer Experiences Mugs

Man can't open the plastic packaging of his plastic cutter.

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

"We are sorry for the delay in answering your call but we are dealing with far more interesting ones at the moment."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

'No luggage.'

Awkward customers.

'Hello, Room Service?'

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"Now, I wonder whether you'd be kind enough to complete our customer feedback survey?"

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

'Just follow my voice to the checkout stand.'

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

"Your call is important to us."

"The customer is always right....the customer is ALWAYS right..."

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

"May I focus my customer frustration on you with the understanding you're powerless and it's nothing personal?"

"He's about my height but he doesn't have my build."

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our product?"

Friendly bank/Formal bank.

'I said she might like it.'

'Our poll shows the typical advertising viewer is all 'targeted' out.'

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

Woman is target

"...we didn't lose your luggage, we forgot to load it."

"I can't see the POINT of all this emphasis on 'customer care'!"