Consumer Behavior Investigator T-Shirts

"Is that chum? Do you ever feel like we're being manipulated as consumers?"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Dog Park / Cat Park

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

"Now that we know what the consumers want, it's our job to make them think that we have it."

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

The competition's customer vs our customer.

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

Man is target

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'