Consumer Behaviour Enthusiast T-Shirts

"We've done all we can, now it's in the hands of the consumer."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

"Now that we know what the consumers want, it's our job to make them think that we have it."

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

"I need one of them and one of them..."

The competition's customer vs our customer.

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

Artisanal Everything, Inc,

'We let viewers skip our ads in 15 seconds because by that time we've already collected all the browsing data we need!'

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."