Construction Work Gifts

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Job Safety - Lunch.

'Look on the plus side to this construction: it might bring in clients as kids step on the cracks and break their mothers' backs.'

'I'm afraid our initial fears were right Mr. Hart, all of our tests indicate that you do have 'builder's bum'.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Burning the midnight oil.

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

37 years in the same position.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Pipe Dream.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Work Parfait

Overworked in the office

"First time pruning?"

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Working hours.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.