Conspiracy Theories Gifts

"I have a feeling they are going to treat us like dirt."

"What if these guys in white coats who bring us food are, like, studying us and we're part of some kind of big experiment?"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'I told you the government were keeping tabs on us.'

Conspiracy Theories $10

"Don't think of me as a weed dealer—think of me as Little Pharma."

'Doctor, before you meet the press to explain your theory about space aliens communicating with us, maybe you should take the tin foil off of your head.'

"Nessie's been abducted by aliens."

'... And of course, there are the conspiracy theorists who say that it was all a big hoax and I didn't jump over it at all.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

Conspiracy theorist

Irrefutable Evidence.

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'Subliminal advertising, Alice, what did I tell you!'

Conspiracy theories club - trust no one! (CCTV cameras watching each other).

Conspiracy Theorists Association.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"To think, one day our children will look back at this moment and proclaim, 'fake news'!"

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

"Hi honey! How was Roswell?"

"Where the conspiracy theories of the right overlap the conspiracy theories of the left, you'll find Richard."

Flat Earth Society

"I told you to stop and ask for directions back at Alpha Centauri, but noooo..."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

Secret Alliances of the New World Order

The Warren Commission investigates the Grassy Knoll Theory.

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'

The Flat Earth Society's Tour Bus

Of course the Earth isn't flat. If it was, cats would have knocked everything off the edge years ago.

"Well Albert, this certainly explains your unshakable conviction that the earth is flat."

'OK you didn't eat the rabbit, I believe you; snakes are no strangers to plausible deniability.'

"And how are we sure that's a Jewish space laser?"

"The word 'san' refers to male saints...like San Antonio and San Jose. Whereas 'santa' refers to women...like Santa Barbara and Santa Catalina. I figured it out! The male conspiracy to control the icons of Christmas is over! Santa Claus is a woman!"

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'