
"The immigrant kids ate the class hamster, my teacher is an agent of Satan, and I got an A."
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"The immigrant kids ate the class hamster, my teacher is an agent of Satan, and I got an A."
'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'
"First the gloves, then the masks, now the tinfoil hats."
"Your husband is telling you not to come here anymore because, 'this so-called spiritualist is a phoney'!"
Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'
"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"
'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'
"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."
'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'
'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'
"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"
6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair
"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."
"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."
"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."
Rumours Online
People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!
In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.
Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."
Thwarting the Boys from Brazil
"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."
Obama, the Enigma?
"I don't do cover ups!"
"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."
"It's all a big distraction from the other distraction attempting to distract us from last week's b*****t thing!"
Say What! Mark Meadows
Psychiatric Centre/Vaccination Centre
I heard it disappears if you suck on a rabbit's foot. I heard the virus came from aliens. I heard it's no worse than jock itch. Heard immunity.
'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'
Weapens of Mass Redaction
RFK Jr Anti-Vax
"No more fake news, alternative facts, or conspiracy theories. If elected, I promise to go back to old-fashioned lying!"
Wright Wing Conspiracy.
'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'
"Which variant of the hoax do you think we contracted?"
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