Consolation Prize Collector Pillows

"Anyone who isn't specifically named in the will still receives one of these valuable gift bags."

'I didn't get the job but they invited me to the company picnic!'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

'This is your lucky day!'

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

'...and this one is for knowing what all the others are for.'

'Well, sweetie, you got a prize, Why it's a cholesterol decoder ring!'

"I've received another 'Certificate of Appreciation' from the Queen for my hard work: Frankly, I would rather get a cash bonus or a day off..."

"And here is the winning board of the year."

'It would be a kindness to tell he HAS won his Duke of Edinburgh Award.'

"And I want to thank my boss, the best boss in the whole wide world..."

"I didn't exactly win it."

General gets a jackpot of medals at the casino slot machine.

'Make up your mind! Are you mulling or musing?'

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

Zoo Corporation: Award for Solving a Big Pile of Poo Problems

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

Ms. Walsh, I'll be unavailable today...I'm spending it with my ego wall.

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

Peter Green, 1946-2020

'He has mixed feelings about the trophy — it's a lifetime achievement award from the Anarchists' Association.'

Post Office Worker.

"You didn't have to do that, Simon. It tells you on the box if there's a free gift inside!"

"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"

"Congratulations - you've won the 'Truth in Advertising' award."

"I thought you must of been drunk last night, when you told everyone your real age."

Dog had dog show award for best working dog on his wall.