Considering Sperm Donation Gifts

'Tall, good-looking, muscular and wealthy! I can see where you are coming from Mrs Willets but that's not how it works.'

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

New life (organ donation)

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

"So what blood group are you?"

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

As our CEO-in-Chief has demonstrated, it's good for a businessman to surround himself with children who'll cover for … I mean, help him. I've tried adopting a baby, but the agency grew suspicious just because I asked for the type least likely to sell out its parent. Unfortunately, I can't just clone myself. I need an actual mate if I want to produce accomplices ... I mean "off-spring." Your job, minion, is to craft a date-a-dude.com profile for me that'll recruit ... I mean "attract" a suitable

Hey Doug just out of interest, did you run a reference check on that new guy?

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

Honey badger do care.

'If I look a little pale, it's because I just sold enough blood to buy new tires for my bike.'

Organ Transplant Service - "Rather ironic isn't it...we need a new pump."

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

"Can you hold a moment? I've asked you before not to donate my organs till after I'm dead."

Blood Donor

'My husband left his body to medical science. He became chicken soup.'

"I hope this thing is free-range!"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'I'll see you kidney and raise you my liver.'

'How do I know you'll only what I'm not using?'

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

"You've got an organ donation card? Great! Now I can officially eat you when you're dead."

'Of all the people in the world you pick Klaus Kinski as my eye donor!'