Considering Plastic Surgery Gifts

Plastic surgeon's waiting room.

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Facelift Book.

"Botox."

'You do Botox?'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Mirror mirror...

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

Botox sharpei

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

Speaking as an experienced plastic surgeon, believe me when I tell you there's no such thing as a "snout job."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

At the office of Dr. Picasso, Plastic Surgeon

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."