Undergoing Plastic Surgery Gifts

Graph-boobs.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Facelift Book.

"Botox."

'You do Botox?'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Mirror mirror...

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

Botox sharpei

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

Speaking as an experienced plastic surgeon, believe me when I tell you there's no such thing as a "snout job."

At the office of Dr. Picasso, Plastic Surgeon

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

Cosmetic pouches.

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'