Considering Commitment Pillows

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Unconditional Loveseat

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"'...Love, honor, cherish til death do us part'? Wait..."

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'Are you serious? I thought 'For Better or for Worse' was just a comic strip.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

"Make up your mind - will you or won't you?"

"He's here early and he stays late. I don't know if he's dedicated or just homeless."

"I do enjoy seeing you, Roger, but I'm not sure if you're binge-worthy."

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

"We'll just skip over the part that says 'until death do you part' "

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"I like your slavish attention to detail."