Conservatory Grad Gifts

'Two years of music in high schol, four years at Julliard, one year with maestro Giovanni Cavollo. Thre more years studying composing at Surbonne. All that...for this!'

Big Bang Theory.

' A good idea '

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Boy and girl at thier studies

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

Business Admin - Group Think 101.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

"This is what's known as a book."

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'