Conservative Philosopher Pillows

A simple guide to political right philosophy

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I don't like the looks of that!"

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

The Revolution Will Not Be Organized

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

Labour moderates rallying cry.

Safe spaces?

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

Reagacentennial

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

Trump to Fax: Drop Dead

"You are a Democracy! You are free! The sky is the limit!"

Burning the Other

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Rush Limbaugh

Political Analysis

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

Rishi Sunak interrupts Liz Truss in leader's debate

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'