Conservationist Comedist T-Shirts

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Penguin

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'...and this is the water garden...'

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

Where's my global warming?

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

Ecotourism.

Alligator Bars

This is where Brent council sends you

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"This is a terrible table!"

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'

"Rising sea levels."

'A tortoise is coming toward us' 'I newt' 'I toad you' 'Great, I'm on Walden Pun.'