Conservation Comedy Pillows

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Water company bonus.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

Ecotourism.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

Paper Bath Towels.

Will work for manure.

Humpty the Game Warden

igloo smoking zone...

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'I can't do anything. It's on the endangered list.'

Raking bad.

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

'How can anyone say our factory isn't green? Most of our waste is that colour!'

Watching animals having sex at the zoo - "Well it doesn't look like an endangered species to me!"

'If it'll make you any happier, we're biodegradable, too.'

If Global Warming is a left wing plot...it's a very good one.

'Native wildlife self preservation.'