Conservation Comedian Pillows

we're collecting the dna of endangered species.

'I can't do anything. It's on the endangered list.'

How do you like the shoes? They're ostrich!

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Happy Gnu Year!"

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Eat me"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

Penguin

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Just a little seasoning...

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"I'm a monster."

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Ecotourism.

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Where's my global warming?

Sawfish cuts through the oars of row boat.

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'