Conservation Comedy Fan Pillows

A planet like ours - "...yeah great, we're an endangered species and you're into extreme sports."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Water company bonus.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Ecotourism.

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

Humpty the Game Warden

"It's teeth whitening."

"Okay, it's agreed, - if Trump gets elected we won't be heading south for the winter."

'Yeah we went for the hybrid car in the end. Margaret loves it.'

"It's not long-term commitment, Kyle! I'll move in just for the hibernation."

"Oh boy, the forecast is "Freezing" today, and then "Deep Freeze" for the next two days..."

"I love bamboo too, but I'm still not going to mate with you."

'You do realize you're polluting the world with that thing!'

'So you got the endorsement contract?'

'I can't do anything. It's on the endangered list.'

Gas Cow

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'Your sales are down again this month. For a guy raised by a pack of wolves you're not very bloody aggressive.'

"He says he's a great salmon guide."