Conservation Comedy Fan Prints

A planet like ours - "...yeah great, we're an endangered species and you're into extreme sports."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Water company bonus.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Ecotourism.

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

Humpty the Game Warden

"It's teeth whitening."

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"Okay, it's agreed, - if Trump gets elected we won't be heading south for the winter."

'Yeah we went for the hybrid car in the end. Margaret loves it.'

Gas Cow

"I love bamboo too, but I'm still not going to mate with you."

'So you got the endorsement contract?'

'I can't do anything. It's on the endangered list.'

'You do realize you're polluting the world with that thing!'

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

"It's not long-term commitment, Kyle! I'll move in just for the hibernation."

'It's a common hibernation nightmare, You wake up lying next to Ted Nugent,'

"Oh boy, the forecast is "Freezing" today, and then "Deep Freeze" for the next two days..."

'Your sales are down again this month. For a guy raised by a pack of wolves you're not very bloody aggressive.'