Connoisseur Of Clever Wordplay Gifts

... Apparently, there's a fine line between "follow your bliss" and "stalk your bliss."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Nuts to you, too."

Super Heroes.

"Privates Beach"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

AA Meeting Here Today

The americanisation of vulture.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Didn't you just say that?"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

Dog in casino.

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"You have word-ill."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Punkins

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women