Connoisseur Of Clever Wordplay Pillows

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Nuts to you, too."

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Privates Beach"

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Super Heroes.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"Didn't you just say that?"

Dog in casino.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"You have word-ill."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Punkins

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."