Connected Connoisseur T-Shirts

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

"We were unable to release his grip on the smart phone."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"We evolved from asteroids"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

A Highly Networked Staff

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

Social Media Strategy Session. The more friends and family people see on our site, the personal information they'll post. Familiarity breeds content!

'Slow Connection'

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

'Honey, I fear, to be a European patriot means a little more than having a German beer for breakfast, Italian pizza and French wine for lunch and Spanish brandy for dinner...'

Old lady spying on the neighbours using a webcam.

'I can't identify with any brand emotionally!'

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

I liked the book better than the movie, but not as much as the "Dateline." "20/20," or "Primetime Live" specials.

The pilgrimage begins