Congressional Intern Gifts

"I see you were a congressional intern, so you're good working with children."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

Laptop Dancing.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Rock and a Hard Place

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

"Buster, run this past legal."

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'This year there's a bi-partisan effort in Congress to keep things as partisan as possible.'

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

'And this is Bert, our intern. He's been with the company for 46 years!'

The Surly Yoof

'How's getting you a sandwich going to help me get a job?'

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

Gotta say, Alayna, you're the best intern I've ever had. The Human Cannonball.

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."