Confused Patriot Gifts

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

Military Medals

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

UNFADED GLORY

Veterans Day '20

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

First day on beach: pale Englishman struts his stuff.

Veterans Day US

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Television guests' essentials in November.

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

'Look...a fresh one!'

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Statue of Liberty hugs Obama goodbye.

Unity is strength! Vote for local 62 today!

'We must protect my sovereignty.'

The American flag

Barack Obama

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

America's New Dawn

'We agree in principle on the need for Strategic Lapel Pin Size Reduction.'

"And now for my fabulous 4th of July finale. . ."

Stars and Stripes bleeding out

"But first, our national anthem."

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."