Confidence Curator Gifts

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Leadership suits you

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

$1: Family Secrets

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Ego Increasing School

Redecorating Easter Island.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'Well, it's about time!'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

"Instead of 'It sucks' you should say, 'It doesn't speak to me.'"

'That brush - how many dpi?'

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

The passage of time.

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

Nobody ever listens to what I say phobia.

Through the Looking Glass-King's Messenger in Prison

"It makes me feel better about myself."

Haile Selassie

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

'I need something that will raise my energy level but not my self esteem - I'm already full of myself.'