Connectivity Curator Gifts

"So if you go on vacation and no one knows about it, did you really go on vacation?"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

$1: Family Secrets

TV-Man

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

Redecorating Easter Island.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

A Highly Networked Staff

'Well, it's about time!'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

Museum of Mediocre Art.

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

Undertaker's Flower Box.

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

My own museum.

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Instead of 'It sucks' you should say, 'It doesn't speak to me.'"

Nobody ever listens to what I say phobia.

The passage of time.

Godot finally turns up

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

Through the Looking Glass-King's Messenger in Prison

Haile Selassie

'Slow Connection'

"I hear he has more than bones buried."