Confessional Comedian Pillows

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Trump pardons

'Your French dip, sir.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'The circle is complete!'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

A Guide to Balloon Animals

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

No-Work Orange

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

The Rooster Comedian.