Confectionery Critic Pillows

The Schematic map of Miss Mathilda's afternoon assortment box of Bonbons

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

Our visit to the flan factory.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Parisian man eating pastries

"God's sent us some chocolates."

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

Deicing on the cake.

"Mini-cupcakes never solved anything."

"The cookies are always stale."

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"Med Brittle"

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"It's a generally positive report with a few disturbing elements...much like the tapioca pudding in the cafeteria."

Greedy child

'Bon Bons Away!'

'I appear to have underestimated the appetite of the modern child...'

'These fortune cookies are outdated. They quote Greenspan instead of Bernanke.'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"I got horse dewormer..."

Candy Land for Adults

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

Jane Chastain

My budgie likes Mars bars.

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

Bar None

At the party, nobody like the fruitcake.