Conditioner Collector T-Shirts

"Hate the crime, love the conditioner."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

"I had the stitches out last week. I just find that it helps me stay focused."

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

'How old is this vase?'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'They say that these are also handy for carrying a sleeping bag, pad, tent, foul weather gear, extra clothes, trail mix...'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Man walking dog with a cone crosses path with a dog walking a man with a cone.

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"