Concert Goers Gifts

"Don't make me come down there."

"Can you perform under pressure?"

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'I love my Oboe.'

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"Hi - we're called Clingfilm and we are a cover band. . ."

Masked Pianist

"What about Carlos Santana? Willie Colon? Joan Baez? They'd all be wonderful Kennedy Center honorees!"

'What's with this Lady Gaga wearing an all-meat dress?!'

'No, I didn't sow them - we had a pop concert here last year.'

St. Margaret Mary 75th annual organ recital.

'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'

Elton John

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Two

'Honey! Hurry and help me bar the door! I saw a bunch of rowdy senior citizens in parrot masks down by the arena!'

Kylie Minogue

Quatre-mains

Natalie Merchant

Karimovapalooza '09

"Will I still be able to smash a violin?"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Rhapsody in Blue.

Concert Pianist.

EWE 2.

George Michael

Orchestra.

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Elvis Presley

Italica

Bassoons.