Concert Goers Pillows

"Don't make me come down there."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'I love my Oboe.'

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"Hi - we're called Clingfilm and we are a cover band. . ."

Masked Pianist

'No, I didn't sow them - we had a pop concert here last year.'

St. Margaret Mary 75th annual organ recital.

'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

Quatre-mains

Natalie Merchant

"Will I still be able to smash a violin?"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Concert Pianist.

Orchestra.

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Italica

Bassoons.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

Johannes Sebastian Bach

'I've got two tickets to Handel's Messiah -- What time do you get off work?'

"Free Bird!"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

Six jazz instruments.

"Thank you! That last tune took some fancy fingerpickin'. Apologies to those in the front who may have gotten a press - on nail or two in their drink."

"Oh, yes - BEAUTIFUL singer he was - but could he snap his fingers. . ?"

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

Songbird.