Concert Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"

James Levine

"You're supposed to buy your alcohol here, not bring it with you!"

Fritz Kreisler.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."

Piano Recital

Cellist

"The white keys are naturals, the black sharps or flats and the ginger ones are Ed Sheeran."

A Symphony of Penguins

Cimafunk

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Felix Mendelssohn

Anna Calvi

Archimedes statue with a lever

I love my Timpani

Baroque Peacock

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Freddie Mercury

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

Scarpia's Palace

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Mark Knopfler.

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

Popera!

Sir Edward Elgar

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

'I was so embarrassed when you tossed your y-fronts on stage.'

"Some Debussy, Igor."