Concerned Parent Club Pillows

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

'Either switch off his batteries or take 'em out!'

Congratulations!

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

My child was student of the month...But that was a long time ago.

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

"Another round of iced teas, and would you please find a placemat that will actually challenge our gifted son."

"I sometimes think my mom hovers too much."

I have two teenagers that text!

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

Uncertain Future

Keep away from our Doreen.

"His first fax."

'True happiness!'

"He did well in his exams. He got an A level in creative knitting."

"We think it's important to meet the parents of our daughter's bad influences."

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'